Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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