I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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