hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
