Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
