i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize