I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
