Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
