garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i out mim tonsoeep
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