The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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