I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize