I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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