I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
