I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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