I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm sobbing to NWA
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
