i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
