another moral hangover. fuck.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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