I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
