Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
