my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
