I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
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Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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