so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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