We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
