Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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