She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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