you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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