I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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