blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
