Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
