When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
