At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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