you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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