some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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