You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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