Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
