Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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