This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
