So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
