And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
