Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed. http://tfl.nu/2338
  Replies (20) Good night (5765) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit. http://tfl.nu/890j
  Replies (48) Good night (2947) Bad night (9704)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game. http://tfl.nu/jamc
  Replies (18) Good night (5113) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though http://tfl.nu/889i
  Replies (9) Good night (1120) Bad night (2541)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said http://tfl.nu/i92d
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym
  Replies (6) Good night (850) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass. http://tfl.nu/hhxz
  Replies (19) Good night (1215) Bad night (3272)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter. http://tfl.nu/bkut
  Replies (13) Good night (834) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome. http://tfl.nu/6w7h
  Replies (0) Good night (709) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows. http://tfl.nu/ni5n
  Replies (7) Good night (641) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock. http://tfl.nu/3cuy
  Replies (10) Good night (1419) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants. http://tfl.nu/tg9t
  Replies (3) Good night (1251) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD http://tfl.nu/xdt2
  Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far http://tfl.nu/x45g
  Replies (8) Good night (746) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  ...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): ...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails http://tfl.nu/48c8
  Replies (1) Good night (245) Bad night (597)

Randomize