brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.