Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...

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  (212): Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward... http://tfl.nu/8dba
  Replies (1) Good night (1784) Bad night (951)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.

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  (651): I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning. http://tfl.nu/un48
  Replies (23) Good night (3346) Bad night (583)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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  (330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f
  Replies (28) Good night (800) Bad night (4217)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either

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  (612): Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar (651): If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either http://tfl.nu/6h7r
  Replies (24) Good night (740) Bad night (4101)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.

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  (763): Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault. http://tfl.nu/lznh
  Replies (115) Good night (6547) Bad night (836)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?

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  (541): Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works? http://tfl.nu/8nc6
  Replies (26) Good night (1156) Bad night (5630)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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  (251): i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once http://tfl.nu/k6sm
  Replies (52) Good night (4935) Bad night (1251)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?

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  (202): He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common? http://tfl.nu/fh8y
  Replies (16) Good night (856) Bad night (4441)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common

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  (907): It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common http://tfl.nu/qmer
  Replies (47) Good night (1434) Bad night (4548)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.

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  (832): No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare. http://tfl.nu/aa8b
  Replies (17) Good night (2325) Bad night (604)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.

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  (319): I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window. http://tfl.nu/f99w
  Replies (2) Good night (1093) Bad night (492)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.

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  (973): We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas. http://tfl.nu/opmh
  Replies (5) Good night (1743) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.

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  (212): LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/na6f
  Replies (5) Good night (1381) Bad night (417)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.

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  (612): We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door. http://tfl.nu/fjm6
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.

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  (804): Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me. http://tfl.nu/u8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (289)

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