don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
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Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.