Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer. http://tfl.nu/2her
  Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale. http://tfl.nu/iff3
  Replies (26) Good night (689) Bad night (3717)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Whats the glycemic index on semen?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): Whats the glycemic index on semen? http://tfl.nu/dx5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2814) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6918) Bad night (1432)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit. http://tfl.nu/09qd
  Replies (19) Good night (680) Bad night (3825)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room. http://tfl.nu/rw2d
  Replies (58) Good night (2046) Bad night (5693)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod... http://tfl.nu/hp9q
  Replies (65) Good night (7610) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out. http://tfl.nu/a3dj
  Replies (13) Good night (1094) Bad night (3136)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/4et1
  Replies (11) Good night (1045) Bad night (3624)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  "guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"

  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): "guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch" (516): Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student. http://tfl.nu/syiw
  Replies (1) Good night (1289) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave. http://tfl.nu/cfsr
  Replies (7) Good night (969) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina http://tfl.nu/gzz0
  Replies (4) Good night (1300) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob. http://tfl.nu/g13n
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.

  (619): View more from California

  I will find you...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank. (619): I will find you... http://tfl.nu/dshk
  Replies (17) Good night (2625) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special http://tfl.nu/nl3i
  Replies (0) Good night (838) Bad night (392)

Randomize