VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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