Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
