Do you still have your period?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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