I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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