If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sext me about skeletons
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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