I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
