am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
