i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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