if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize