If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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