I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
