Kareoke will never be a sober sport
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
