At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
