shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
