i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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