I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
soo... how was my night?
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