My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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