so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
