He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
