If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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