I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
