You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
