How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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