I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
