No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize